Do You Want To Know When?

What if you were given a timeline of when you would die?

Would you accept it?

Would you even want to know?

Almost everyday we hear, “Live today as if it is your last,” however we, as I know I do, usually ignore it. We move on and get what needs to be done, done. We still worry about things like how bills will be paid, why hasn’t he gotten it, or why does my team continue to break my heart. For the most part, we do not live each day to the fullest because honestly who has time when such pressing matters are at hand?

But what happens if you were given a timeline that said approximately the day in which you would die? What would your reaction be? Would you change anything?

My family and I were recently faced with this question and concern. Without going into too much, one of our own was given a timeline of approximately how much longer they had left with us. It maybe more, maybe less, but a timeline nevertheless. It hit us like a semi, and while some of us are still in denial, myself included, reality is starting to set in of how much longer.

Now I am not writing this to air my personal grievances or thought about what we are going though. However since the day a timeline was put, I wondered would I want to know when I would die. I mean if I did, I could worry less about bills, the phone ringing, or silly things, and start to enjoy life more. I can eat that cheeseburger with 1000 calories or jump out of a plane. I mean you only have this amount of days live it up because your last is soon approaching. I guess in a way it would be calming.

However, after much thought and avoiding the heart attack burger, I wouldn’t want to know. Apart of me would feel the need to rush through life. To do everything on my bucket list, but not really enjoy it without the thought of this is my last time for (fill in the blank) replaying in my head. I believe I would curse myself for not taking the trip, not kissing the boy, not telling my family and friends I loved them enough. I should have done that when I had more time; where did it go?

A timeline scares me. For some, they would rather know, be able to live life to the fullest before they do not have it, and to that I say whatever you are into. For me, I want to create the timeline.I rather live my life to the fullest and be positive and not worry about whatever misadventure I just got into. I do not want to know when a time stamp is marked. To me this scares me more because I am not sure if I would be able to accomplish everything within this specific time. The thoughts of why didn’t I do this earlier would quickly fill my thoughts.  With out a set date, maybe I will have more time to do it all.

The Solution? I don’t really know. Maybe take more trips, say I love you, do not be stressed.  I know this is easier said then done because life always throws something at you, or you just want to sleep, but as is life.

What if you were given a timeline of when you would die?

Would you accept it?

Would you even want to know?

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