Gym Membership

So I got a gym membership. I know that’s the exciting news out of Chicago for me…well that I would want to share.

The last two months have been wild, scary, fun, crazy, implosive, and so many adjectives. I got to dance by the lake and rain, finished improv class, did a show,

got an apartment, and job. To be honest, I haven’t felt comfortable or that I belong yet. Like I am constantly the new kid.

I’ve never been the new kid. Growing up and living in Arizona, I had the same best friends forever, close family, and knew what I needed. Of course I tried new things (which is how I got to Chicago) but I was always comfortable. It’s probably that comfort that made me want more and to better myself.

I’ve never been more uncomfortable before in my life. I love and hate it. I cry a lot about improv, missing events, or frustrations. I’m scared. I wish I fit in more. But then I see leaves fall, get to belt out a song, or have a fun day at work ( I got to see Jewel perform today) and I know, while I’ll fail again soon, I’m having a good moment now.

I don’t regret moving or want to move back as the more I stay, the more it will feel like home. At least that’s my goal.

Maybe the gym will help or at least provide a place to run when it’s cold.

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